My new blog
Hi. This is my blog. It is awesome.
I have had other blogs, so don’t be nervous, I know what I’m doing. I felt that it was time to move on though, they were not as awesome.
This being the first post, I feel it’s necessary to get the “nitty-gritty” out of the way, there is always that awkward “first-read” through every new blog. You’re never quite sure where the author is coming from, how to read it, what the author means by what they’re writing, or what to do with the information you take from the reading/viewing experience.
I have decided that it is better for me to clarify these things. So, lets get started, shall we?
First of all, in reference to the above listed issues with blogs, I don’t know where I’m coming from 93% of the time so don’t feel too bad if it goes over your head. Read this blog however you like, it’s just a blog, you don’t need to have a big seance about it, just read it. Usually, what I say is not what I mean and what I mean is never what I say. Reading my blog will make you a great literary mind, or at least help you score really well on any “reading comprehension” test. As far as what to do with the information contained herein, it will change your life. Let it. That is what you do with it.
Awesome. Moving on.
About the Author
- My name is Dane Pierce Whitney
- I am awesome
- I have the awesome-est friends
- “Awesome” is my utility word, followed closely by “epic,” “amazing,” and “word”
- I type out “haha’s” frequently. In texting and otherwise
- I am 6’4”
- I love sports
- I love Jesus most
- There is a lot more about me but, it would overwhelm you with awesomeness
- I scream like a girl
Terms of Rights and Responsibilities
- Privacy Policy
Your privacy is not important to me. IF you comment on, or post on, anything on this blog, and I don’t like it, I will ridicule you ruthlessly while letting everyone know how bad you fail. If I like it, I will probably like you, in which case I will allow you to continue in life without feeling like an epic failure. It is important that you understand this
Privacy Policy. Please refer back to this should you have any questions about contributing anything of your own on this blog. I encourage you to refer back to it regularly regardless, to help you make informed decisions and be self-aware of what you are considering posting.
- Sharing Your content
If you share your own content on my blog I will own you. This is, “danesawesomeblog.com,” not, “everyone’sawesomeblog.com. If I had decided to make it that I would have entitled it, “everyone’sslightlylessawesomethandane’sblog.com.” But that would make no sense. Obviously, it would be significantly less awesome.
- Safety
- I may, or may not, bully, intimidate, or otherwise harass anyone.
- I will not post anything that is inappropriate, because lets just face it, that’s not too tasteful or awesome.
- l am liable to offend anyone and everyone, but I will not openly try, live with it.
- I will encourage and facilitate the violation of this statement regularly.
- Protecting Other People’s Rights
I won’t. I don’t respect other people’s rights and expect you to do the same. I reserve the right to remove anyone’s content if I feel it is in violation of this policy. I also reserve the right to remove anyone’s content if it is stupid and not awesome.
Awesome, now that, that is out of the way I would like to get around to some general rules I have for optimal viewing pleasure both for you personally and those around you.
- If you don’t have a good laugh please refrain from viewing my awesome blog in vastly public settings. Those around you, unless they’re reading over your shoulder,(which they ought to be), will not understand. They can’t view the awesomeness that you are and annoying laughs are annoying unless everyone is laughing.
- If you haven’t grasped the concept that this blog is dedicated to humor and should never be taken too seriously, then you should give up now. Stop reading immediately. Go to the coast, find a short pier and take a long walk. For those that live in the mid-west, I will also accept a kiddie-pool. For those of you up north, Canada will suffice as punishment enough.
- If you still haven’t grasped the previously mentioned concept, loosen up. We probably shouldn’t be friends, but I love you the same and I think you should definitely read my awesome blog as often as possible, it will make you awesome. I would recommend canonizing it in your life along with your Bible.
